2017: The Year of Being Fat & Happy




I’ve spoken about my weight a lot on TLP, with the focus ranging from dealing with weight gain and the effect that contraception has had on my weight to how my insecurities about my weight have led to self-sabotage in my relationships. Most recently, however, I uploaded a lingerie shoot that celebrated my in-between chubster body - a body that I don’t see represented anywhere, and a body that doesn’t fit into either the “regular” or “plus-sized” box. It’s no secret that my weight has yo-yo’d throughout my blogging career and generally, whenever I’ve spoken about it the tone has always been negative. The Valentine’s Lingerie for the Belly Conscious post was - surprisingly even for me - a 180 turn in this respect; even though I was covering up a part of myself that I am still self conscious about, I was at the same time saying that I no longer wanted to feel ashamed or guilty.

One super babe named Tori left a comment on that same post which really resonated with me. “Love love love the confidence you have in your body,” she wrote, followed by “treat it with love, it’s your permanent home.” Your permanent home. For a generation that is so patently obsessed with their appearance, it’s incredible how often and how many of us forget this. When we subject ourselves to our own criticisms, we berate our permanent homes - no matter where we run, those insecurities are going to run right alongside with us.

Top - H&M
Blazer - Topshop (sold out, similar Topshop here)
Belt - Saint Laurent (sold out, similar Saint Laurent here)
Jeans - ASOS (cropped myself)
Boots - Zara
Sass - Models own




To say that I always have confidence in my body is a lie. Of course I have days where I turn my head to the side whilst I mimic conversations in the mirror, trying to judge just how large my double chin is when I laugh. And of course, I sometimes spend 15 minutes holding in my stomach and then pushing it out to the full, trying to figure out what’s my actual weight and what’s me just breathing in. And yes, when I sit down in the bath, I am met with a perpetual sense of disappointment. All of those things are true. I do not whole-heartedly love my body. However, over the past month the way I perceive myself has started to change, and that confidence that so many of you saw in the Valentine’s Lingerie post is starting to become real. Best of all, I know why.

About a month ago, I made a decision. 2017 was going to be the year of being fat and happy. For so many years I have worried and stressed and despaired about my weight. I’ve lost weight, gained weight, lost it and gained even more again. I’ve dieted, exercised and calorie counted to the point where I was simply not a fun person to be around. I made myself miserable. Restricting myself and counting calories still makes me miserable. So I’m not doing it anymore. I’m stopping. I just don’t want to be that person anymore, and the absolutely unparalleled freedom that has come from that is incredible.





Chances are, I’m going to put on weight. I’m eating chocolate biscuits when I want, desserts when I’m at dinner, a lil’ hunk of cheese at night when I get the nibbles - of course I’m going to put on weight, that’s a no-brainer. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I already have put on a few pounds. I tried to pull on a pair of size 10 jeans the other day and good lord, they would not even go past my hips. Whilst in the past this would have sent me into a downward spiral of salad-sulking and desperate longing whenever Keiran snuck a good old piece of cheese on toast, I can now hand on heart say that I do not care. I don’t fucking care! It’s amazing!

I know that so whole-heartedly embracing reckless weight gain may seem unhealthy, and d’you know what, it almost definitely is, but as I said before, I just don’t care. I honestly feel liberated from my own mind - from my own judgement and my own guilt. I no longer feel shit for having a cheese sandwich for lunch because Instagram shows me that I should be having a pine nut salad with a side of lemon water. I expended so much of my emotional energy on obsessing over my weight - even when I wasn’t thinking about it directly it was skulking around in the back of my mind, niggling and nagging and reminding me that I better have something super healthy for lunch or else. But I have a beautiful, beautiful boyfriend, a business, a brother who makes me laugh more than anything else and a group of long suffering friends who all deserve that energy more than my fat thighs and muffin top.




And one of the most liberating things to come out of this new-found philosophy is the self-asserting revelation that what makes me good at my job is my mind and my creativity, not my weight. I can be a successful fashion blogger sporting J.W. Anderson bags and Acne shoes regardless of the size on the label, and if high-end fashion doesn’t have space for a chubby, petite troublemaker, then I’m making space.

So here it is, 2017, the year of being fat and happy. I’m going to eat what I want, when I want, and I’m not going to feel bad about it. If I put on weight, I put on weight (reminder: it is only weight, it can be lost) and if I ever get to the point when I’m unhappy, then I’ll stop. Something fucking fantastic has happened in my mind, and I’ve finally realised that if I don’t hate my body, then just because it doesn’t align with a certain ideal, I shouldn’t feel like I have to change it. This is it, rolls and all. Instead of stressing about stretch lines and the fact that I can’t wear sleeveless tops, I’m going to drink cocktails, eat warm brownie desserts and yes, have a fucking full English. And this is your call to join me - even if only for a month - in letting go of the body punishment and just.being.you. Welcome, queen, let me point in the direction of the cake.




25 comments

  1. This post has really inspired me. I'm like you, that middle ground weight which isn't plus size, but certainly isn't model sized and I find we're just not represented, in media, in fashion. In anything. Seeing you rocking your confidence and style and reading this has made me realise its time to stop hating my body and learn to embrace it! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved this!!! I resonate with absolutely everything you say in this post!!! I know I'm not fat, but I sit a little on the chubby side after putting weight on, and for so so long it's got me down. But reading this has got me like hell yeaaah, my body is amazing 🙋🏻 Amazing post and pictures, as always!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are absolutely a gorgeous woman, and I love that you've made this change in mindset. I'm working on it but not quite there. I've never even thought of you as 'chubby' or anything like it; I've always just thought of you as adorable with great style!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This post is so lovely. I have been seriously struggling with my weight since going from a size 8 to a size 12/14 in the past year and a half. I have had the biggest struggle with accepting this change and I have made myself miserable with diets and strict exercise routines but still couldn't manage to shift my muffin top. I started a blog about 6 months ago and have put off taking pictures of myself due to sheer lack of confidence. It has got to the point where I barely want to leave the house as my friends are all half the size of me. You really have inspired me to stop the fad diets and just enjoy food again. Also just wanted to say you dress so well for your body shape which is something I am yet to master! Thank you for such a lovely and inspiring post. Lots of love X

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post is so amazing Chlo and I feel so elated for you! You go girl! You're beautiful and I'm glad that sometimes, and I know not all the time because everyone has their shitty days, that you can see just how fucking fabulous you are! When I see the amazing things you're doing and read your blog, I feel really proud and giddy for you! I hope 2017 brings you so so much happiness because you truly deserve it! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really really loved this post <3 I'm overweight for my height (even though I'm pretty tall) and usually hover around a size 14. I'd like to get back to healthy, but at the same time eating how I do doesn't require thought or struggles, and at this stage in my life that's the besssst thing, so I might jump on this bandwagon with you <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. You should read The Goddess Revolution. It talks about exactly this, and how we should be thinking of our bodies as our best friends.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've been really struggling with the weight I've gained over the past year, don't get me wrong I've never been a skinny person but I used to be a lot smaller and didn't even realise it until I looked at old photos *sigh* although I would like to get healthier and lose some chub, I really appreciate this post because you're so right. We shouldn't care as much and just try to enjoy life in the bodies we were given. We shouldn't feel like we need to eat a salad for lunch just because society says we should. Eat the cake people! X

    ReplyDelete
  9. When I first saw this post photo pop up on my Bloglovin feed my first thought was, 'This girl is SO stunning and so cool!', it didn't even occur to me that the post might be about your weight! I love that you're at a place where you are ready to embrace yourself because you are GORGEOUS and have everything to feel confident about. I'm so glad to read about more people wanting to represent the full spectrum of sizes and shapes too, there is no need for us all to subscribe to an aesthetic that is only the reality for a very small percentage of us IRL - that shit cray! GO YOU! Jade x

    My Blog: Jade With Envy | My YouTube Channel

    ReplyDelete
  10. This. Is. Amazing. I loved every word. You're truly one of the most inspirational gals on the blogging scene and every one of these type of most leaves me fist pumping the air (but this one especially!). Keep doing what you're doing! (Oh and, obvs you're bloody gorgeous!).

    Josie x

    www.aprettypostit.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. One of my closest friends just posted something similar. (here >>> http://ow.ly/wPX0308SCzA) I have had a similar up and down relationship with my body and have slowly been realizing it treats me the way I treat it. If I want pizza- I eat pizza. I love yoga, so I do yoga. I'm happy and healthy and that's what matters, right?
    x0x0 Caroline http://thecarolove.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is my first time coming across your blog & before I even read your post I though "oh this girl is so pretty." And it's so true! Even more so after reading your work. I think you pull off this look very nicely. It's sexy and sultry, yet somewhat streetstyle professional.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What an inspiring post. I love the way blogging has taken a step towards not just blogging about beauty and fashion, but about real issues we all face day in day out! I'm with you on this. I'm eating ALL the pizza, ALL the chocolate and ALL the cakes, I do not care!!!xx

    Lucy x | lucy-cole.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  14. I knew I would love this blog post from the very second I read 'sass-models own'. I have always struggled with self confidence and hearing you sound so confident and free makes me feel inspired to let go a bit more in 2017! Thank you Chloe!

    Also let me just say that damn girl your hair looks so good here (well it looks good all the time but you know what I mean) you look beautiful as per and I adore the outfit because all black outfits really are the best. Tash xxxx

    natashatodd.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOVE THIS. I have been feeling exactly the same lately - after years and years of guilt around food and linking my level of attractiveness to my weight, I've recently started to care less and less. Who bloody cares about a few extra pounds?! Life is too short AND you can look banging regardless of your size. You look absolutely amazing by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is so wonderful! I loved reading this! I posted about my body image struggles this week, too - the more we talk about it, the more we embrace ourselves, no matter where we are in our personal journeys, the more we can inspire others. Eat a biscuit and enjoy it!

    www.sarahwyland.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. I feel like just commenting 'PREACH IT SISTER!'. I'm 17 and can pretty much say for the majority of my teenage years my weight has felt like a battle that I can never seem to win. Constantly setting unrealistic goals and never achieving them which just disheartened me more, a constant cycle of nonesense. I would just like to say thank you for this post because recently it's been stressing me out, having booked holidays and thoughts of summer approaching I become really anxious about my weight. In my head I have to loose weight. But why should I bother if it's going to be a chore? I need to embrace what I've got, live the lifestyle I want and keep myself happy! All that follows should fall into place and it's not fair to be ashamed of our 'permanent home'! So much love for this post, keep up the self love!!

    Infinity of fashion// Lucy Jane

    ReplyDelete
  18. Again, such an inspiring post. I'm truly happy for you to see how happy and confident in your choices you are. You're so right in the things you said, and I wish I could do the same, but I can't. I'm counting my calories (even if there are days I can't track and will eat the whole menu at a restaurant) because I can't deal with this person I see in the mirror. That's not me. I was once very very thin and that's not my goal to be this thin again but just to reconnect with myself and see someone I recognize.
    Those are days I'm telling myself that I just have to own it and see what happens, maybe by feeling better in my head, my body will follow but I easily give up.
    Reading your little words is helpful. The pressure of being around girls with thin amazing bodies is also hard, like I'm always the small-chubby-gal-that-is-not-that-fat-but-not-thin-either and for sure, we are misrepresented everywhere, even irl. And there you are, writing about it all, showing how to still be sexy without having to show belly, and by reading your posts, I start to feel better and less ashamed about how I look like.

    http://i-think-its-today.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. You look so chic and I love how you did your hair; so sexy and effortless !

    Sara
    www.thecrimeofashion.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. what a wonderfully written post and so nice to read that youve hit that good mindset moment where you have decided to change your thoughts into positive ones. I too have felt much like you have, in fact a year and a half ago i was verging onto obesity, hated who i was and how i looked to the point of sheer worthlessess that i sometimes couldnt even step outside my flat. Since then ive managed to get myself to a healthy weight and let me tell you, if i hadnt have worked on my mental strength I wouldn't be happy. It was a revelation for me in that losing the weight or being a certain size won't make you suddenly happy it really is all in your head. I think you look fabulous my dear and you certainly seem to have a strong mental attitude which is a million times better, more inspiring and admirable than if you can fit into a pair of jeans. Moreover lifes too short to deny the simple pleasures of life including a sandwich haha.

    http://www.thewhimsicalwildling.com/

    ReplyDelete
  21. Daayum this is bloody one of the best and most needed posts ive ever read and youre looking fiiiine gurl! Ive definitely put on weight recently and while ive been fine with it, ive had a few little remarks where looking back i wish id said i dont care! ...its the first time ive had even a small amount of boob which is always a plus hahaha! Thanks for the positive weight gain post... its too often about telling people how to lose weight rather than just being happy with yourself!
    Laura | roseandweston.blogspot.co.uk

    Ps. Not even sure if my comment makes sense!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I found my favourite inspirational post fpr 2017! THANK YOU!♥ Love your confidence :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love this post so much! So inspiring ��

    ReplyDelete
  24. None of these fad diets address the fact that a specific hormonal balance within the body is needed in order to burn fat. If this hormonal balance is not achieved, then there's no fat burning!
    dietpillssecret.com/

    ReplyDelete
  25. Totally agree with this and this is exactly what I did 6 months ago after my wedding - I am now 2.5 stone heavier but I have loved every second. Now however, it's time for me to reign it in a little haha Enjoy!!

    Laura x

    http://lifebylaurax.com/

    ReplyDelete

© The Little Plum • Theme by Maira G.