In your 20’s with no idea what you’re doing? Yeah, me too.


When I finished uni and moved back home to pursue my full time job in marketing, I made a plan. That plan was a budgeted, financial savings plan to ensure that I had enough money saved to move out by the end of January. If you know me well, then yes, I will repeat that for your benefit – I am saving.

Very grown up, I thought. I’ve accounted for agency fees, deposit, rent up front – I’m transitioning into full adult and I’m doing it very neatly in a Kate Spade notebook (which, may I add, is filthy from always being in the bottom of my bag). I even went on to make a month by month breakdown of what pieces of furniture I needed to buy and when. Kettle, toaster, and coffee machine are already ticked off – with the obligatory coasters for decoration – and big bits like bed frames and coffee tables have been saved for bargain hunting in the Christmas sales.

Moving out doesn’t even feel like a big step for me, because I’ve lived away from home for four years whilst studying at uni. In fact, moving back home was more of a big step because I had to let go of some of my independence. And Jesus Christ am I desperate to have it back. If I could move out now, I would, just so I could have a space of my own to call home.


“What? You’re renting? No, you don’t want to do that. Stay at home and save.” “Well that would take me years. Two, three, even four years maybe if I want to enjoy my life still. I want to move out so I’m-“ “No, really, renting is throwing money away. It’s stupid. How are you going to save when you’re paying rent at the same time?” “I’m hoping I’ll earn more, so I can save more. A lot of young people rent before buying, you know. I’m only 22 and-“ “I think you’re making a mistake. My cousin Lisa is the same age and just bought a house – I mean, her parents did give her that money that they have been saving for her her whole life, but you get what I mean. Don’t rent, definitely buy.” 
I’m not Lisa. I don’t have my parents' savings to fall back on. I live in a shoebox at my grandparent’s house (who are my heroes), squeezing my 6ft boyfriend into a double bed most night’s alongside me. I’m 22, I want to move out with him and of course I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. Of course I'm making it up as I go along. 

I’m so frustrated at having this conversation, and even more frustrated at the surprised/bewildered expression people seem to have when you tell them you want to rent. Who wouldn’t love to buy a house? But it’s not something that’s easily accessible to me, and since I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, do I really want a mortgage as well?

This is a plea from me, the clueless, short, 22 year old not a girl not yet a woman, to stop telling me what I should be doing. I’m burdened enough by youthful anxiety as it is, without your two pence about where I’m going wrong. Just let me enjoy making my lists, buying fluffy pillows for the home I won’t own and spending extortionate amounts on café smoothies. I’m sure I’ll figure out where I’m going wrong on my own.

And if you're a twenty-something with no fucking idea what you're doing or where you're going or what the hell is going on – I’m with you. Let’s fuck it up together.




27 comments

  1. Love this post, Chloe. I feel the same. Everyone is obsessed with owning a house but the idea of a mortgage terrifies me slightly. I've been saving, as like you its all my own money that will go into my future house/rental but I feel like I will still be saving at 42 if I want to own a house lol! xx

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  2. I LOVED this post! I graduated University a year ago and still feel so confused!
    I've had my fair share of people telling me I should buy instead of rent but I really do think it's a bad idea if you don't know what you're doing.

    Lee - leethrifts.com

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  3. It definitely is hard to save, there are pros and cons, but you made your decision. xo!
    www.fashionnfreedom.blogspot.com

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  4. YEES Chloe! I 100% agree with what you said, I am graduating this year and my parents and everyone else is already asking me what I will do and even tell me which jobs I should apply to, whether I should stay in London or come back to Spain, etc. It's so frustrating, they might be right but I first need to figure out what I want and then see what I do. I'll fuck it up at some point for sure, but everyone fucks it up some time and that's okay. People need to understand that! x

    Ariadna || RAWR BOWS

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  5. Although I'm not in the same situation that you have (yet) since I'm still 17 (18 tomorrow!), I've been bombarded with questions about uni by relatives over and over again, when clearly I have no interest in it at all. It pisses me off that every single family event, I get questioned about it and they tell me what to do. I mean, it's my life, at the end of the day right? So yes, let's fuck this up together and see where we go.

    www.ashrealasitgets.blogspot.com

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  6. Excellent post and very deep/honest! I too feel it hard to get on the property ladder and currently rent but do find owning a house is cheaper than renting if you get the money to do so! However if your parents can't help this can be extremely hard and you have to rely on the banks which isn't always the best thing! I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to own my own house but I guess we never know what the future holds! The positive aspect of this is the fact you can save more money in the mean time and look forward to moving out when you do so x

    Jenny | Krystel Couture

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  7. I've just moved back with the parents after 6 years away and after two months I'm desperate to move out again! I'm the same about buying a house... there's no rush and shouldn't feel the need to buy a house especially with no idea what we're doing!

    Rose and Weston x

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  8. This was great. I rented my first apartment when I was 22, and I didn't buy a house until this year (26). Sure, it was 3-4 years of "throwing money away," but it was worth it. I had my freedom, I learned how to budget better so I always had money for bills, and I even developed some domestic flair... all before owning an actual home. WORTH IT!

    It'll work out the way it's supposed to, when it's supposed to. I have tons of budgeting tips if you're ever interested ;)

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  9. I get SO frustrated at people claiming that renting is throwing money away. It is if your only goal in life is to own a property, sure. But you get so much out of renting too. Independence, as you said, is so important, especially after living on your own and moving back home. That transition is hard! Given the current state of the housing market, you'd think people would lay off a bit. Most of us will be saving for years and years before home-owning becomes likely, with or without renting. So let us live!

    Rachel | www.currentlyrachel.com

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  10. Me and my bf started renting last December, despite saving to buy a house. Yes it will take us longer and friends have asked why we don't go back home, but at 28 we want our space and not be confined to one room! It can be hard but I love that we get to live together (and we got a dog!) whilst we do it. Go with your gut and enjoy making memories along the way!
    ruth-writes.co.uk

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  11. So with you on this post. Me and my boyfriend moved out after uni into a rental property as we couldn't move back in with parents and it kills us every month. The rent is so damn expensive that I have no idea how we are meant to be saving to buy at the same month. Plus in June I decided I hated my job and quit it, so now I have no idea what I'm doing at all!!

    Being in your 20s is so hard, I envy people who figure it out so young.

    Here here to fucking things up together!

    The Makeup Directory

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  12. I really enjoyed this post! I'm 25 and have just bought my first house with my boyfriend after renting for 2 years. We didn't want to rent but we moved to a new area for jobs and obviously didn't want to buy when we weren't settled. It's different for everyone and comes down to circumstances. I totally agree with you about enjoying your life in the meantime, do people really want to still be living at home in their mid-twenties?! It's definitely possibly to save whilst renting :) good luck finding your new home!

    Helen x

    www.house-of-Helen.com

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  13. When I finish university I know I definitely want to travel, but that's so expensive and apart from travelling I have no idea what else I want to do!
    Cloe X clxelouise.blogspot.com

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  14. Yes! It's like you took the words right out of my mouth, I graduated this year and I'm still figuring out how to get to where I want to be with my career let alone buy a property! It would be incredible if we all had the money to buy houses in our twenties but hardly anyone does without their parent's help and what if we suddenly had to move for a job or anted to go travelling, Renting's definitely more practical at least for a few years while you figure out what to do, Life's too short to have everything set in stone so early with no wiggle room.
    Rosalie
    RosalieJayne

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  15. Love this. I graduated from uni this year, I'm 22 and I've got an unplanned child on the way. All 'sensible' plans have gone out the window and I'm not really in a position to move out and even when I am in the future or if I was forced to now, there's no way I'll be able to afford to buy a house. What's wrong with renting anyway?! We all have to start somewhere. It's just life, and it's short, people need to learn to start living and just do stuff.

    Gemma Louise

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  16. Totally understand who you feel ! I also follow my plan and act like an adult but there are days I just wanna spend my money and have fun ! x)

    Sara
    www.thecrimeofashion.com

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  17. I know how you feel and trust me, everything is gonna be perfect in the end :) I will never understand why so many people are against renting, it's not like buying a house is the easiest thing to do. My boyfriend and I have been living for almost two years in the rented apartment with our dog and during this time we tried to figure out what do we want from life and is this city really the one in which we want to live in. And now we've decided to start saving for our own place but without some crazy pressure, it will happen eventually but in the meantime we're gonna enjoy life to the fullest! :D

    xx, Matea
    www.smilesnapsparkle.com

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  18. OMG YES GIRL YES!!!
    I graduated two months ago and I am absolutely clueless. The best way to describe my life is 'keeping my head just above water' haha

    Creepers & Cupcakes

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  19. Loved this post! I'm still at uni but I have no idea what I'm doing when I graduate! x

    http://emmaboughtwhat.blogspot.co.uk/

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  20. I lived out for three years then went straight into renting again this year and I'm 21. I think a lot of people find it strange and I did consider moving back home again to save more but even my parents told me to enjoy my freedom whilst I'm young. I've got a plan of action as to how I'm going to save and rent at the same time, so ideally I do prove people wrong when I do get my own mortgage using money I've saved whilst renting in a few more years - it's totally possible!

    http://skylish.co.uk

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  21. I'm 20 and I feel like all of my friends are moving out and on with their lives whilst I'm still stuck at home with no clue what direction I want to go in. Thank you for this post, it's nice to know that people experience the same issues, especially with the amount of pressure that is upon young people these days. I'm sure everything will pan out just fine for you eventually!
    Leanne x | www.leannecresswell.com

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  22. Let's be honest Hun you are 22 you don't want to make that financial commitment at such a young age because you'll be trapped for life! What if you want to travel? Or move abroad? You'll always have that dreaded mortgage looming over you. Enjoy your 20s babe that's what it's there for!

    Www.virgosandkisses.com

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  23. I love how you broach these subjects in such an honest way. I'm 23 and currently live with my boyfriend. My last year of college I was renting an apartment on my own and he was renting an apartment with a roommate. After graduation, we decided to ditch our solo apartments and rent an apartment together. Truthfully, our apartment is below average (we both downsized / downgraded spaces when we moved in together) and situated in a slightly questionable neighborhood. It is certainly the type of apartment you relish to tell your kids about some day just to prove how far you've come in life. However, our rent is very cheap and our quality of life is not being compromised in any major way (we are close to tons of restaurants, our bank, grocery stores, and the highway to get to work). It also helps that we love the general town in which we live, so the specific neighborhood matters slightly less.

    Living cheaply (budgeting galore!) and renting have been one of the most helpful aspects in regards to saving for our first home. We have been able to save for over a year and now have a healthy house downpayment. It scares me to think that I am old enough to have a house and/or a mortgage. I've never felt more adult. However, it is the right move for us. If we were to move to a nicer apartment - which I've thought about countless times - the rent would be nearly equivalent to our future house downpayment.

    Ultimately, you should do what is right for you. Half the time, if you're anything like me, what's "right" isn't always immediately apparent. Don't forget to trust yourself and alllll of your instincts! You've got this!

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  24. I love this post so much! I'm a bit younger than you but I'm pretty sure I think about these things a lot more than most 20 year olds. I haven't even finished university yet but I've been in a long distance relationship for the last 4 years and I want this to be the last year of that. Obviously we'll be in no position to buy in a year and so renting will be our only option but I can't help but think it is wasting money and we should just wait and save until we can buy....
    Thank you for helping me to see that the freedom and independence of renting far outweighs the "waste" of money.

    xxx

    www.lifeandamy.com

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  25. such a good outlook to have. none of us really know where we'll be in a few years time and many have no idea what's going on in their lives, so let's just enjoy it and live for the now. i'm happy renting as it means i have my independence, there's no point worrying about the future if it's making my present self unhappy! good luck with your plans and great post x

    www.thedressdiaries.co.uk

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  26. I'm 26 and I'm still making it up as I go along, in fact all my friends my age are - and a few who are older than me, as well. The quarter life crisis is a very real thing! Good luck finding a nice place to rent :)

    alicered.co.uk

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  27. Ohh, how I love this post! Of course I wish you good luck with your saving because I think there is nothing bad on it. ;-) I have to do it myself too. I am at uni and I have to go to work to earn some money. And yeah I am 20 and I have no idea what I will doing with my life yet haha. :-)

    Have a beautiful day
    Lucie www.inbluebox.com

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